just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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