Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
