I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
