nut hugger
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
