I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
