Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
