I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
