You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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