return my video game
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
