Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
