Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
