ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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