So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
