Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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