How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
