Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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