I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
