Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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