so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
