never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
