Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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