i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
