my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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