Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
