If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
