you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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