No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize