went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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