She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
