we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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