Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
