The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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