Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
