you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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