that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
