she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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