So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
