Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
