i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize