My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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