Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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