Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
