Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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