im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
