hell yes lets make some ravioli
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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