happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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