I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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