youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
