sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
