Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Screwed.edu
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
