So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize
