Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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