Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
