Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Someone shattered a urinal.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
