on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize