Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
