i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
