I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
