I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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