I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
