I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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