Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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