belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
